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May 01
by Chris Channing

One of the biggest factors in a first date that determines one’s appeal is confidence. Confidence is a human characteristic that some possess, but many would be better off with perfecting the trait in question. As many find out, however, this can be a tiresome task indeed.

Above all else, how one thinks about how they look or act is the biggest flaw in one’s confidence. If you feel that you aren’t good looking, have a poor personality, or just don’t see yourself as a “good catch,” your confidence is going to likewise suffer. In this case, it’s best to either become comfortable with yourself, or fix what you see wrong to the best of your ability.

Contrary to popular belief, confidence isn’t a one-trick pony. Confidence comes from multiple sources of personalities and characteristics in one’s personality. Thus, it is important for one to be as casual, carefree, and outgoing as possible- and of course the ability to carry on a conversation is a must when going out on a date. Perfecting each component of confidence will likewise guarantee that your successes in giving the right impression will succeed.

Although confidence is always a good thing, it can often be confused with arrogance. If you want to impress your date, you will do good to avoid arrogance at all costs. If you appear overly confident or self centered, then it is highly likely that your date will start to lose interest. After all- who wants to carry on a conversation with someone who only cares to talk about themself?

How one lives is another big confidence killer. If you happen to have a sloppy lifestyle, shabby home, or even if you live with your parents, studies show that you are much more likely to have confidence. This is natural, and in this case, it is best to look at dating as a means of finding the “one” who sees past superficial norms society places on living arrangements. As a result, you’ll likely find a more stable relationship anyhow.

Confidence also can be created by going on a date doing something you are familiar with. All too often, the first date is a new experience for those who lack confidence. Going rock climbing when you have never gone before, in this case, is a very bad idea. Instead, go to a local restaurant or engage in a physical activity that you are familiar with.

Lastly, it is important to not take any failures as a sign that you lack confidence- not all relationships are determined by confidence. But as studies show, the opposite gender will be much more likely to be attracted to someone of their type if they do indeed exert confidence.

Above all else, always try to have fun on the first date, and any dates following should you leave a good impression. Always try to exert confidence- even if you have to fake it. As you become more experienced in the matter, confidence will come naturally- all you need is the time and experience in which to find it.

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