So, I’m stuck in the truck the other day, in a hellacious traffic jam. I decide to crank up the radio when I hear a song I haven’t heard played in a while called Everything You Want (by Vertical Horizon) come on the air. I know all the lyrics to the song so I’m singing along to the main verses that say “He’s everything you want, he’s everything you need but he means nothing to you and you don’t know why” and BOOM — it hits me.
This is powerful stuff. Do you know why? Well you’re in luck because I’ll tell you - it describes the “Nice Guy Syndrome” PERFECTLY. Most men that cannot connect with women are truly great guys. They are nice, thoughtful, intelligent men who cannot get a date to save their lives. Why? Because they are the proverbial “nice guy”.
It’s really very clear cut when you think about it. The nice guy doesn’t get the girl BECAUSE he is a nice guy. Since he’s a nice guy - women do not feel attracted to him. This is the kind of man that women are friends with — not lovers.
It amazes me how the difficult life of a nice guy was laid out in the Vertical Horizon song. It’s true that the nice guy is everything that most women dream of. These men complement women buy them things take them out to dinner and treat them like royalty. But in the end he ends up meaning nothing to the woman.
What you will see is the attractive woman going out with some no brain jock that chugs beer and reads at a first grade level and treats her like a pet. Why does the hot chick date the dumb jock? It’s very simple — she feels attraction for him.
Now, I am not by any means saying that you should be mean to women or treat them like dirt. What I am saying is that you need to create attraction with a woman from the very start in order to get the girl. You need to get her attention and hold her attention by fanning that spark between you and not letting it die.
So what does a single man do to accomplish this? There are any number of things you can do, but one of my personal favorites is using a little humor combined with roguish behavior (otherwise known as Cocky Comedy). In other words - you need to bust her balls and keep her on her toes at all times. She needs to NOT know what you might do next in order to keep her from being able to tell if her charms are working on you.
Most guys don’t get it revealing your level of attraction to a woman in the beginning of your relationship is the perfect way to kill the attraction. The typical nice guy is going to let her know that by treating her like a diamond. The dumb jock, on the other hand, is not going to reveal this to her and his unfeigned “I don’t care” attitude is naturally going to keep her guessing — and coming back for more.
So remember - if you tend to be a nice guy, just sing that Vertical Horizon song to yourself and quit being that man that she will not want. Give her what she really wants by being a little bit of a bad boy and your dating life will turn around. Read more on the relationship between bad boys, nice guys, and the women they both want - click below.