If you live with a chronic illness or chronic pain, the odds are that you have at least tried a support group once since your diagnosis. Did the situation go something like this?
Despite feeling exhausted and in pain, you decided you would attend the group anyways. By the time you got there you were running late, couldn’t find the suite number, and finally just parked and hiked to an upstairs room in a dark wing of the hospital. You quietly found a seat, a hard, sticky seat. People smiled at you, but soon they got back to their discussion and it seemed no one was feeling encouraged by it. They argued over the side effects of medicine being worth the benefits, two people tried to convince you to buy a juicer from them, and soon you were ready to run screaming from the room. It’s too depressing!
Aren’t support groups supposed to be beneficial in coping with illness?
The answer is yes! Studies completed by Dr. David Spiegel have concluded that support groups do in fact improve the quality of life of those who are willing to attend. Recent studies (CANCER, Sept 2007) have show that support groups do not actually increase the lifespan of one who lives with cancer. But regardless, by having one’s feelings about her illness validated, her skills of coping with chronic illness are definitely more improved.
You may attend a support group, or perhaps even lead one, but regardless of how long you have (or have not) participated in one, it’s likely that you’ve seen the slippery slope of how quickly people can go from sharing honest, vulnerable feelings to a session of complaints and even quarreling. Looking for fresh and fun icebreaker games for small groups to perk things up?
Here are 10 tips to help you make your chronic illness support group include some laughter as well as just the discussion of challenges. And these ideas will work for any groups, from a Dementia support groups in Dallas to an Ebsteins Anomaly support group. And these ideas are perfect to have when you are creating a proposal for starting up a support group.
1. Cut out some smiley faces and sad faces and glue them back-to-back to a stick or plastic knife. As you go around the circle sharing have each person make sure they are able to hold up both sides of the faces when they are talking about their illness. For example, Mary could hold up the sad face and say, “Preparing for a joint replacement and all the therapy involved afterwards is a bit scary.” (Then flip it over) “But the upside is my family and friends are already volunteering to come over and help me out around the house.”
2. 2. Rethink your definition of what counts as indoor games for small groups. For example, ask everyone to bring an item to contribute to a JOY box and then pass it around during the meeting and let people choose everything to take home. The range of objects can be anything a silicone bracelet, a favorite poem, a funny DVD, an encouraging note or even a joke book. Have everyone return the item during the next meeting and occasionally have people bring fresh items.
3. Here’s a unique icebreaker for small groups. Make a silly theme song that you use to start the meeting. You can pick a song and make up new lyrics too. Check out comedian Anita Renfroe for some good ideas about how to make a song your own at her web site.
4. Find some goofy props to bring to your meeting. Don’t make anyone feel they must use or wear them. (Forcing someone to wear bug antennas may scare them away for good.) But make sure they are available to encourage light-hearted moments before discussing the depressing reasons you are there. You can find hundreds of items for a reasonable price at Oriental Trading Supply.
5. Don’t allow the group to turn into a platform for any one member who talks incessantly about her illness, the treatment, the alternative treatments or even her complaints. If you have someone dominating the conversation, tell the group you are implementing a timer and set your own guidelines. (For example, can people vent for 60 seconds about anything they want? Can they share about an alternative treatment they want the group to try? Give them a time limit.)
6. Have everyone bring something to put into a basket of encouragement for someone else. It may be someone who is having surgery from your group or a friend of someone in the group who has just been diagnosed. Brainstorm together about what items people would like, and be sure to remember sometimes the personal notes mean the most. If it’s appropriate consider including family members.
7. Have a fun night out. You can act your age and go to a nice sit-down restaurant or head over to Chuck E. Cheese for some pin ball. It can definitely be a successful icebreaker for small groups because people who haven’t opened up much in the group may feel relieved to have this environment to get to know others.
8. Hand out articles and other resources that encourage people to thrive despite their illness. You can find fun items through the National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week website like “My illness is invisible but my hope shines through.”
9. When you schedule guest speakers, remind them that you want to provide the most positive outlook as possible, while still being practical. Invite them to pass out props, encouraging articles. Listen to your speakers before scheduling them. Some illness speakers are quite depressing.
10. Sit down with your group and discuss what kinds of things you could do to create change. Illness often robs people of feeling useful. Even though your group may not be able to physically walk for a charity event, you could work at a registration table, or distribute water. Teens with chronic illness are often a great inspiration in getting a support groups involved in a higher calling. Remind people they can be part of something positive.
Illness can be one of the most isolating experiences people have, and support groups provide a sense of belonging in the midst of this. The levels of relationship that form in the group, however, are significantly influenced by how uplifting the leader makes the group environment. None of us want to leave a meeting feeling worse than when we came, but rather refreshed and motivated to live the best life possible. With just a few changes, your support group can go from being a simple meeting, to becoming a lifeline for those involved.