It can seem really difficult to get your ex to just talk to you, much less get him back. Fortunately, there are relatively easy ways to do both. Easiest is just getting him to return your calls, and once that is done you have won half the battle! Here is how you can go about getting him on the phone.
Before I show you the best technique for getting him to call you back, I am going to point out some of the more common mistakes people make with these phone calls. Even if you have already made one or more of these errors, it is still ok…but here are some of the things you should try to avoid doing when leaving that magic message:
–Begging him to come back, because without him your life is empty and useless. Even if this is how you feel the Plea as it is called does NOT help your case any. Pleading for him to come back into your life just makes you look weak and like someone he is glad to be out from under.
–Acting like it is a life-or-death emergency that he call you back. Even if you do feel like life itself hangs in the balance, you cannot act that dramatic. Getting your ex back has to be done carefully, and if there is that much drama flying around, all that will do is drain any patience your ex has left and drive him away.
–Leaving an hour-long message on his voicemail confessing your every emotion like the guy in a romance movie who messed up with his girl and somehow manages to make it all better with one tear-jerking speech. This only works in the movies, and in real life your ex rarely even listens to the whole thing. It is excessive drama, and it gets you nowhere…even if you really feel everything you’re saying.
So now that you know how to NOT make him call you back, here is the secret to getting his attention and all but forcing him to…self-interest and curiosity. These two powerful motivational tools have been used to get people to do unbelievable things that they never would have if they were asked any other way.
Here is an example for you to think about:
-Hey, I really wanted to thank you…what you did turned my life around. I would appreciate it if you would please call me back, because I would really like to thank you in person.-
Given this sort of line, your ex will hardly be able to keep from grabbing the phone. He will wonder, what was it he did? How did he help you? What does all this have to do with him? Getting him to ask himself questions like that will be sure to get him on the phone and put you in a good position.
But STOP…right HERE! When he calls, it is incredibly important that you have a good idea of exactly what plan to say…if you go into this without an underlying strategy, you could ruin your chances entirely. Do not risk it!