Despite the images that are sometimes portrayed in the media, a divorce can be a bitter experience even if the parties involved are fairly friendly through the process. Should there be kids involved in the crossfire, the experience of a divorce can be made even worse. Children can be left feeling like there is something missing with the breakdown of their family structure, ultimately resulting in many children having feelings of being abandoned and left by their parents. Other more severe emotional concerns can crop up later in life as a result of a divorce as well for children.
The costs to the people involved in terms of emotional scarring and breakdowns can far exceed the financial impact that is felt by the participants in a divorce. Children can bear the brunt of that emotional scarring. In many cases, it can also be difficult for fathers emotionally, as their children can be isolated from them, making it tough not only to be active in their lives as a dad but also to connect with the children if there is still some contact.
The mother can often feel trapped and overwhelmed.Whereas previously the burden of rearing children was a shared experience where one partner leaned on the other for support, that safety belt has now been removed and mothers’ can feel overstretched to provide the nurture that their children need in this most difficult of times. This often leads to feeling of resentment and misplaced anger.
The biggest human cost must surely be the children who have had no bearing on how the situation has arisen but are nonetheless caught in the crossfire. If the breakdown of the marriage is not an amicable one then the resentment and anger of the parents has a devastating effect on the children who do not possess the maturity our coping skills to deal with this traumatic event.
The children often feel incorrectly that they are to blame for the situation and can often feel rejected. They experience loneliness and anxiety and often previously outgoing children can withdraw emotionally and can feel awkward in social situations. They also find it difficult to engage emotionally with loved ones as the fear of further rejection stunts their emotional growth.
If the divorce has occurred by one partner being unfaithful to the other then this can leave the other partner with feelings of rejection, mistrust and doubts about self image that often carry on into further relationships. Whilst the unfaithful partner has feelings of guilt they inflict an emotional scar on their loved one that may never heal.
With divorce rates as high as they are in many countries worldwide, divorce is a reality. Even if marriages do not intend to end in divorce, many often do, with often traumatic results to the families broken up. Because divorces are a no-win proposition in many cases, the best advice to figure should you be considering that route is to ensure the breaking up of the marriage happens smoothly and friendly.
Ultimately, the process of divorce can be emotionally tough but can also be the start of something better for all parties involved, as they may be able to emotionally find someone that better fits their personalities and lives. Remember though that no matter what your marriage looks like, the costs involved with a divorce may be more to bear than the costs of keeping your relationship together.