The initial emotional responses to learning of a spousal extramarital affair can be all-engulfing. Naturally, you are the last one to learn about it. And now you know. Everything your life has been based on for years is now in question. You feel you can’t possibly go on together now that pain, sorrow, and anger are overwhelming you. You ask yourself endlessly why the person you married out of love doesn’t feel the same emotions regarding your marriage as you still feel despite the passage of time. But perhaps it doesn’t have to mean the ending of your marriage.
So are their reasons to stay married after an affair? Yes, there are. Have you ever looked at another person and lusted? Have you ever thought about what it would be like to be with another lover? Maybe you have unintentionally flirted with one of those people. The point is, we are all human. We make mistakes, but we learn from those mistakes.
Here is a reason to stay married after an affair: Learning from mistakes makes as stronger. If we do it together as a couple, it makes our marriage stronger. Any problem, any issue, any pitfall or disaster that you work through as a united team will build your marriage and your relationship up.
Whether you are the one who strayed or your partner, if you have the strength to build your marriage up after this, it will be stronger than ever. If the partner who had an affair is truly regretful of what they did, the marriage can survive.
Caught up in the moment of the affair, you might be asking yourself why stopping the infidelity is a good idea. Ask yourself about any guilty feelings you might have had when the affair began, and look deeper, to see why you had this guilt. You probably had no intention of hurting your spouse, nor did you wish for your marriage to end. Was the guilt because you do in fact love your spouse? After all, you both have invested a lot of time and self in the building of this marriage. Yes, you do love your spouse after all.
Granted, marriage is not forever filled with newness and excitement. Over time, no one knows you better than your spouse. Right now you are enjoying the intrigue and the danger of having this affair. But what happens later? As occurred in your marriage, with time, the sensation of newness and mystery fades into something more familiar. And when the feelings in the affair fade, as they will surely do, the thrill of it all will be ended as well. It is then that your spouse will be someone you want in your corner, the person who love. Act now, not when it is too late.
Why stop your infidelity? You still love your spouse! They know more about you, both your good things and your bad and they are still with you. They love you. So stop bringing this ugly hurtful thing between you both.
If you both have the strength and endurance to get past the affair, then you will survive. Your love for each other will grow deeper. You married each other for a reason and that is why you will stay married.